did you know...

they say babies are getting bigger these days.  interestingly enough, for much of the mid to later 1900's women were told to diet during pregnancy.  smoking was encouraged since it helps curb your appetite.  they key was not to gain much weight so that your baby would be small.  a baby born under those stipulations would very likely be considered too small today.  i suppose it makes sense because during that same time, women weren't awake for the birth of their child and the doctors had to pull that baby out.  a smaller baby is easier to extract than a larger baby.  however, that smaller baby is not healthy.  babies are bigger now simply because they are healthy.   women are encouraged to eat healthy and their should be weight gain.  not excessive but gaining a little weight is healthy and nutritious to both mother and baby. 

Doula???

What about a doula?  What is that?  A doula is an experienced woman who stands by your side during labor and deliver.  A doula is not a new idea however for sometime she was pushed aside while women went to hospitals to deliver totally knocked out.  The title might be new but women have stood by other women through out history.   Before the 1900's when a mom to be went to labor she would be surrounded by women in her family to support her, encourage her and help her through the process.  Typically a doula is a woman who has experienced childbirth herself, if not then she has witnessed numerous birth.  She is there for whatever you, the laboring mother, needs.  A back rub, food, to hang out, give your spouse a potty break, diffuse any issues between visiting/bothersome family members, etc.  She will be there from when she arrives through the birth and after to make sure you are comfortable.  A doula is not a trained medical professional.  She knows and understands birth however her main concern is the comfort of the mother.  Since it's important to stay relaxed during labor, this is an important job.  Statistics have shown that women with doulas have speedier labors and less intervention.  You usually meet with your doula beforehand to discuss what you hope your labor and birth to look like but also, to discuss any fears or feelings you may have.  This is especially important if you don't feel like you can discuss them with your OB or midwife.  The doula, since she has not only experienced childbirth but also been witness to many others is a great listening ear as well as able to give advice to help calm you.

what about an OB?

So what about an OB?  An obstetrician is a trained surgeon.  They go to school to learn how to handle complications and how to fix them.  Basically, they know how to fix the tears and ruptures that might happen but they don't know how to prevent them.  As I've said before, most OB's will have never seen a natural birth.  They don't really understand the basics of labor and delivery.  What they know is to look for problems and then fix it.  Often times they will perceive something that is natural and confuse it for a problem and intervene.  We need obstetricians but we don't need them to assist in a low risk pregnancy when there are no problems. 
Ideally, midwives would be a pregnant woman's first visit.  If there are no issues then the midwife would continue with the prenatal care and into labor.  The OB needs to work along side a midwife so when problems arise they can step in and assist.   It's just like any other medical issue.  You go to your doctor with a problem and if it's serious then they refer you to a specialist for further care.  That is the way midwifes and OB's should be working.  Many other countries work this way.  At some point though someone said that giving birth was an illness and should be taken care of by a specialist.  If giving birth is an illness then so is when every woman's period starts!  I don't know about you but when that happened I didn't go running to a specialist to find out what to do, I ran to my mommy!  Both are natural occurrences that a woman's body knows how to handle.  A midwife is trained for the natural occurrences, they understand the natural process the body must go through for baby to be born.  They learn to recognize when things are not following the natural process and will work through prevention or if need be to contact the person that can fix it.  Problems do arise and there needs to be someone out there that can help when it happens but if there is no problem then why treat it like a problem? 

Midwife experience

I thought I would do a midwife vs OB comparison.  I started doing research but have now decided against that.  Instead, I'm going to share my experience with midwives. 
For my first pregnancy we went with a group of midwives that worked along side OB's in the office.  The had a good relationship with each other and the midwives had alot of leeway with what they could and could not do but at the end of the day, they still worked for the OB and had to follow certain protocol.  There were 2 hospitals affiliated with these midwives and OB's.  The OB's worked solely at one hospital and the midwives worked at the other which had a birthing center and that was their focus.  There was a group of 5 midwives and I did meet all of them throughout my pregnancy but only had prenatal visits with 4.  They had meet the midwives throughout the year so that women would have the opportunity to see and meet everyone since any one of the 5 could be on call and come to the birth center for labor.  Each visit was fairly similar.  I would arrive, have my weight and blood pressure taken.  Then the midwife would come and we'd chat for about 30 or 40 minutes.  She'd answer any question Jim or I had.  She'd listen to any fears or concerns we were feeling.  We'd talk about where was a good place for cloth diapers or natural foods or the near little store in Ann Arbor.  After chatting: we'd listen to the heartbeat, measure the belly and feel around to make sure all was good.  We built a relationship during that time.  When it came time for me to go to the birth center, I felt pretty comfortable with all the midwives and although I had favorites, I knew that any of them would do a good job and agreed with my choice of birth options.  Once at the birth center and in active labor (which was right way), the nurses let me labor in peace.  One initial exam to see how far along I was, but that was it.  Jim and I were left alone to work together.  When things got intense, I asked Jim to call the nurse.  She came and said the midwife would be right in.  Sarah was my midwife for labor and once she came in, she pretty much never left.  She was there when I needed help getting out of the tub, she helped us figure out the best position for laboring, she came up with different ideas when I was struggling to push, she encouraged and did what she could to help.  When the 2 hour pushing mark came, instead of moving me to labor and deliver like protocol stated-knowing the baby was on it's way, she let me keep going and push out our little baby.  After, we chatted as she checked everything.  Showed us the placenta like we wanted...we were curious.  Made sure we were comfortable and then went to assist another labor.  The next afternoon, she stopped by our room to say hello, congratulate us, see the cutie little baby and tell us what a wonderful job we had done.  :)
This 2nd time around, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would use a midwife again, I just didn't know what it would look like.  This time, we chose a private practice with 2 midwives.  We had the option of meeting at their office, our home or a combo of the two.  We decided it was best for us to have our appointments at home.  We met both of the midwives in the first 2 appointments and have had meetings with each of them since.  When they arrive at our home, we sit in the living room and chat for usually an hour or so.  We talk about life, how I've been feeling the last month, what books I've read, plans for the holidays etc.  In fact, at the last appointment Jim said that he felt he was eavesdropping on a couple of ladies out for coffee.  After chatting: we hear the heartbeat, measure the belly and feel around.  Aria (my 22 mo daughter) is present at these appointments.  Mostly she plays and gets into the midwifes bag, lol.  But she helps when it's time to listen to the heartbeat and measure the belly.  When the time comes for labor, both midwives will most likely show up.  If there is another labor at the same time, then one will be here.  However, it doesn't matter which one because they both know me and we have gotten to know them.  We know about their families and they know about ours.  We've laughed over the funny things people have said to me as a pregnant woman.  There is a relationship that's been built and with that a foundation of trust between us.  There's no looking at the clock or rushing to get to the next appointment. The average appointment has been about 1.5 hr.  I feel important, cared for and not like just another pregnant lady in the office.

quick definition

I recently read one midwifes answer to the difference between a midwife and an obstetrician.  I found it very insightful and truthful.  Unfortunately I can not remember where I read it, so I can not give her the credit.  This is what she said:
"A midwife is someone to whom you have to prove that you are unable to birth naturally while an obstetrician is someone to whom you have to prove you are able to birth naturally."

My recent thoughts...

I've been struggling the past couple weeks on what to write about.  I've been reading lots of material about birth and reflecting on peoples choices and outcomes of birth.  I've become increasing confused at the lack of women's empowerment and willingness to believe they are capable of delivering their own child.  I realize lots of that isn't exactly their own fault.  Over the last 50+ years, the medical world has done an excellent job of telling women they can't do it.  The c-section rate doubled in the last 10 years.  It's not because women can't do it, it's because Drs are too afraid to allow women to do it.  If you research it, all the technology we have has not cut back on mother and baby mortality.  In fact, for being a modernized civilization we're high on the list of losing mothers and babies during and after birth.  C-sections are a major surgery that comes with lots of possible side effect.  Also, technology and medicine in the field of obstetrics is not studied beforehand.  Instead, it's put into practice and then over time as things go wrong they put 2 and 2 together.  For years and years, women x-rayed their babies...only to find out that was not safe.  For years and years, mothers were given a medicine to prevent miscarriage...only to find out that was not safe.  Most recently, women have been given the drug cytotec to induce labor...not only is this medicine not intended for the purpose nor supported for that purpose, it's not safe yet continued to be used since it's easy.  Women jump at the chance to get an ultrasound but we don't really truly know the long term affects.  Women give up alcohol, caffeine, fish, etc during pregnancy so they don't harm the baby yet flush that same little one with a variety of drugs during labor with an epidural and/or pitocin.  I simply do not understand why women refuse to educate themselves about pregnancy, labor and delivery.  There has been a fear instilled in women regarding labor and talking about our experiences has become almost taboo.  As if pregnancy and labor were not a natural part of life...an important part!  This fear and lack of sharing is what has put us in the place we are today.  At the mercies of the medical field that doesn't truly understand what birth is about.  What an OB studies is the problems, the irregularities of birth.  The majority never witness a drug free, natural birth.  Is an OB necessary, YES, of course.  But not for the mundane, everyday blessing of a baby being born.  They are needed when problems truly arise.  They are not needed to try and find a problem and then treat it as they know.  This is what I mean when I previously stated that women are put in a box.  An OB is taught the problems and so they look for something and do what they know best...fix it.  Stalled labor...not a problem in it of itself.   pain in labor....not a problem...your body is working hard...it's like saying your muscles won't ache after a good workout, of course you are going to feel the intensity of the workout you just went through.  Baby rocking back and forth as you push...not a problem, that's your body preparing itself so it doesn't hurt itself.  Baby past the estimated due date...not a problem in it of itself, it's an estimate for a reason.  The list goes on and on. 
I'm just frustrated with women and a system that doesn't empower women with true education and choices but instead pushes their own agenda because it's easier for them and makes them more money.

Getting Pushy

This is an article I recently read that I have been thinking about and thought I'd share.

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/gettingpushy.asp

EFM...what?

It's pretty important to be comfortable during labor.  Especially as the contractions get stronger...you want to be in a position that is not only comfortable for you but also aides your labor.  Being comfortable in it of itself is an aid in labor progression.  Having the option to get up and walk around is also a great thing.  What isn't helpful is to be forced into a position and unable to move or walk around at will.  Many hospitals will hook you up to a continuous external electronic fetal monitor (EFM) as you come into labor and deliver.  It's 2 straps wrapped around your belly: one tracking babies heart and the other tracking your contractions (a tocodynamometer).  It then prints out a sheet of paper so nurses and doctors can keep track of your 'progress.'  Needless to say, these straps are connected to wires which are connected to the computer, meaning...lack of movement.  Once connected, you are pretty much forced to lay in the bed.  Hopefully you can still at least move from one side to the other and not have to stay on your back.  If your lucky, maybe you can at least stand next to your bed.
There is also an internal electronic fetal monitoring.  This is even less comfortable.  A thin, spiral wire electrode is placed in the skin of the baby's scalp to detect the heart and a tube (catheter like) is placed with in your uterus to measure contractions.  Internal is more accurate but clearly more evasive than the external.  This monitoring requires breaking your water and the skin of the baby's scalp.  Breaking your water prematurely may cause complications itself and in most hospitals start the clock to push that baby out.
So what is the purpose of this monitoring?  For the nurse or doctor to keep track without having to be near.  They can check from their office or station all the women in labor as once and not have to get up and walk around to each individual room.  Or they can simply enter your room and go to the print out and not have to bother you.  However, that might make you feel unimportant in the process since they aren't really paying attention to you.  Trust me, you know when you're having a contraction and how the intensity is progressing.  You don't need a monitor to tell you that.  You're partner may also start to focus on the machine instead of listening and waiting for you.  This monitoring is also helpful to hear the babies heart.  This is a good thing!  The issue is that reading the results is very complex and even experts disagree what different heart rate patterns mean and when intervention is truly neccesary.  Fetal distress is a shortage of oxygen, not simply a change in heart pattern but if there is a change your doctor may very likely jump to the conclusion that the baby is in distress and call for a c-section only to pull out a perfectly healthy baby that had no problems.  This is becoming more of a problem because doctors infrequently truly know what a natural, normal labor and delivery look like and what the heart patterns mean.  Since they are taught how to handle and deal with a crisis, they might jump to an intervention because that's all they know without truly understanding what is going on. 
As I said, hearing the babies heart is a good thing and something that does need to be monitored.  There are ways other than continuous monitoring.  Ask to be intermittently monitored.  Instead of being constantly hooked up, you'll only be hooked up about 10-15 min every hour.  So the greater part of the hour you can be moving around or lay in whatever position you find comfortable.   See if they have a portable radio-transmission (telemetry) unit.  There are 2 types.  One is where you wear a radio transmitter around your neck and those wires are connected to the belt.  The other (and newer version) is wireless.  These are waterproof and gives you a broader area to move/walk about.    If you must be continuously monitored see if they have one of these...it's the best option for you to be comfortable and allow labor to progress.
The least evasive is a fetal stethoscope.  This requires a nurse or doctor to be with you frequently  and studies have shown this method allows the birth of healthy babies with fewer c-sections.  Unfortunately since you need to be check often, many hospitals don't staff enough people for this option.  There is also a hand-help waterpoof telemetry unit so you can be in the bath which being monitored. 
Find out what your hospital requires.  Some will force you into one option...be sure it's an option you feel comfortable with.  As always, read up on the issue!

You want to cut me where?!

More women should ask this question when an episiotomy is suggested!  What is an episiotomy?  It's a cut in the perineum (the flat area between the vagina and anus).  Why would anyone get cut down there?!  Where did the idea to cut in such a sensitive area come from?  Interestingly enough from doctors way back when, in the 1920's era of twilight sleep births.  Women were completely knocked out and had no consciousness or awareness of what was going on.  When it came time to push, obviously they were incapable.  So the doctor had to go inside and pull the baby out...usually via forceps.   With the addition of forceps the doctor needed more room, enter episiotomies.   Women are conscious and aware during labor these days...that's arguable if you have an epidural.  But clearly women are not knocked out like they were, so why still use an episiotomy?  Good question! 
One reason given is to help prevent a tear down there.  There are 3 different cuts used however, the most common is called a midline.  It's a cut from the vagina straight down.  This is the worst kind yet easiest to perform and stitch up, so of course it's used most often.  Why is this the worst?  Think of a piece of cloth.  If you grab it and try to tear it apart, it's very difficult perhaps impossible.  Now if you start with a little cut already in place, you can tear right through it.  That is your perineum.  With no cut in place, tearing should be minimal or not happen at all.  But with a cut, you may rip right through to your anus.  OWWW!!!  Because this was such an issue 2 other options came about.  The mediolateral:  instead of going straight down from the vagina it's a diagonal to the side.  The 3rd kind combines the two and looks like a hockey stick: straight down from the vagina and then to the side. 
These cuts are done during crowing where the pressure of the babies head is pushing against the perineum and creates a natural anesthetic.  After the birth, you can feel it and you need a local anesthetic to stitch it up.  If you were to tear naturally, it would be a much smaller tear and most likely will not need stitches.  There are ways to avoid an episiotomy and most likely a tear.  During pregnancy: do squats.  Instead of bending over, squat.  This helps stretch the perineum and prepare you for labor.  During labor: only push when you feel the urge.  Pushing at any other time creates pressure on your perineum when it's not ready to stretch.  Take your time pushing the babies head out.  Allow your perineum to stretch naturally and don't force it to open before it's ready.  Your body prepares for this by pushing baby down during a contraction and then receding a bit.  It doesn't mean your baby doesn't fit or doesn't want to come out...this is the natural process your body is going through in order to protect itself from injury.  Work with your body, not against it...it really does know what it's doing.  This coming down and receding of baby is especially important if you have a large baby.  Your baby is built to fit through your body...but again, we must let our bodies do the work it knows it needs to do.  Kegels also help strengthen your perineum.  They are important both before and after baby!  Warm compress, perineum oil or olive oil, and perineum massage during crowning help relax and stretch the perineum so that it will not tear.
Other reasons given: 
-it helps speed up your labor.  It does but a few minutes cut from labor doesn't replace weeks and months and perhaps a lifetime of pain and discomfort. 
-protects against incontinence.  The episiotomy may actually cause incontinence.  Kegels will strengthen you down there to protect you against this.
-protects baby from shoulder dystocia.  There are actually different laboring positions that can help a baby who is stuck. 
The fact is every reason given has been given without any proven medical research.  Most women do not need it.  Medical science knows that routine episiotomies are not beneficial and carry many disadvantages.   For example: pain and discomfort for weeks and months perhaps a lifetime, sexual dysfunction due to the pain, increase blood loss, create a larger tear than necessary, cause incontinence, cause you not to be able to breastfeed because of the pain.  If medical science knows there are no benefits why do some doctors continue to do it routinely?   It's how it's always been done...they learned this in their training and continue to do it.  Regardless of true need and lack of medical evidence.
Be sure to ask your doctor their view on episiotomies.  Some think most first time moms need it.  Other think all women need it.  Others think it should only be saved for absolute need.  A good response is NOT:  we'll see what happens during labor.  That generally means you will end up with one. 
This little cut is a very big deal!  Please read up on it and know where your doctor stands.

I can't eat, now what?!

So, you can't eat.  Of course the hospital isn't going to allow you and your baby to simply dehydrate!  They came up with an idea to 'solve' the no eating issue, Intravenous fluid aka IV.  Who doesn't need a routine IV?  Any women who is not ill.  I would venture to say that would be most of us yet women are put into a box...they are pregnant so they must need an IV.  But why?  Oh my, this is a BIG subject and I hope to cover as much as I can. 
First let's start with what exactly is a routine IV.  It's called routine because at many hospitals if you come in for labor, regardless or anything, one of the first things they will do is stick you with an IV.  What are they giving you through the IV?  Generally, saline but they may pump in some glucose.  Nothing substantial enough to energize you for the difficult job ahead of you.  However, this should keep you hydrated or contribute to water intoxication due to over hydration.  Glucose can be dangerous because it can cause hyperglycemia in the infant.
Where does the routine IV go?  In your vein, could be your hand, wrist, arm...it depends on what your veins look like.  Once the IV is inserted your mobility has decreased.  Any movement requires wires to be moved or if you wish to walk around, you have to take the pole with you and push as you walk.  If you've been in labor you know, you don't want to have to think about anything else other than the work you are doing.  It is a cumbersome task to now think not only about your contractions but also how to maneuver with an IV pole. 
Other than to hydrate you, which could be easily taken care of by drinking water during your labor what other benefits does the IV have?  You will be told, that in case of an emergency you are already hooked up.  That worries me on one level because if a hospital can not accommodate my need in an emergency with a quick injection of an IV, then I don't want them working on me at all!!  Also, the true risk of an emergency in a low risk pregnancy is very rare.  Somewhere around 2-4%.  Not to mention, it is rarer still that an emergency would suddenly appear out of nowhere.  If you are being well taken care of during your labor, any emergency would be spotted early on and watched carefully.  Now, let's say you are worried and would feel better with an IV in place, just in case you are one of those rare moments.  Ask for a heparin lock.  It's basically the IV needle injected but not connected to anything.  So, there is easy access just in case but without the pole, wires or being pumped with any fluids. 
Ok, so you've been given a routine IV...what's the big deal really?  Doesn't the hospital have our best interest in mind?  Hmmmmm, let's talk about what happens now.  You've been given your IV and you'll be told, the contractions you've been working through so beautifully will probably slow down.   What do you do when your contractions slow down?  Eat, move around, try different positions, shower, etc.  Can't do all of those, at least not easily.  So now you're contractions have slowed or stopped and the hospital doesn't like that.  Since you're already hooked up, let's try some pitocin to speed up those contractions.  (or as the nurses so loving say 'let's pit her.')  Luckily I've never had pitocin so I can't speak from personal experience but what I hear and read, the contractions with pitocin are stronger and longer than natural contractions and you now have pitocin contractions along with your natural contractions along side them.  INTENSE!  With that intensity, you can't handle it and decide that an epidural is needed.  Well why not?!  You're already hooked up to the IV why not add more wires and medicine?  Now it's time to push!  Yay, the moment we've all been waiting for!!  However, you are having difficulty pushing because you can't feel anything,  Or the baby is having a difficult time due to the constant contracting or the epidural drug affecting them and now there is worry or concern that the baby is in distress.  Options?  Episiotomy, forceps, vacuum, C-section.  All because you weren't allowed to eat or drink during your labor.
You may be thinking, come on...that's a pretty unrealistic picture you're painting.  Think about it.  Look at women around you or perhaps your own birth experience.  Did it really go the way you wanted it or was it more the way your OB/GYN and hospital wanted it to go?  What was the need for the routine IV again?
Study after study has shown that eating and drinking during a normal labor are safe and there is no evidence that restricting food and fluids in normal labor is beneficial.
As always, please research and educate yourself before agreeing to anything!  Don't wait until it's too late...choose a doctor or midwife that is truly open to working for and with you.

Can I eat???

How many women have been told that once they arrive at the hospital they are not allowed anything by mouth (NPO=nil per os latin)?   This is the first area I'd like to disuss where women are put into a box during labor and delivery.  I had no restrictions on what I could eat or drink during my labor.  My husband and I packed a wide variety of fruits, granola, and other easy to eat foods I found yummy during my pregnancy to eat while I was laboring, as well as water and gatorade.  When we finally decided it was time to go to the hospital I had not eaten dinner yet so my husband quickly made me a PB&J sandwich and told me to eat it with some fruit.  He reminded me I needed some fuel to help with the work that was ahead of me.  Though I wasn't really interested in food, I listened because he was right, I needed some fuel and ate my sandwich.  Then we packed up the car with all the other eating 'essentials' and left.  With an array of options to choose from, there was not one moment after arriving to the hospital where I thought to myself: hmmmmm, I really want to eat something now.  After the fact, I was really glad I had eaten before but there was absolutely no interest during.  I don't remember this detail exactly, but I think I may have had a little water during the intense contractions but if I did it was only a sip here and a sip there.  During the pushing stage, I got real thirsty!  I pushed for over 2 hours and my mouth became thoroughly parched.  My husband would hold a bottle of gatorade during the breaks with a straw for me to sip.  I can remember thinking: wow, that tastes so good and refreshing right now.  It was never more than a small sip or two at a time, but it was enough to energize me and help remove the dryness my mouth felt.  I really did feel the difference between when I wasn't drinking anything and when I started.
I bring this story up because the reality is that when you really start contractions and intense labor, you're not going to want to eat.  However, it is important that you have eaten.  Who would tell an athlete to go out full force and play there sport with no food or water in them and accesible to them?  Nobody would, so why are laboring women told they shouldn't eat or drink??  They NEED the energy and nutrients food gives them. 
Now, I'll be honest with you.  Some women vomit during labor (usually transition) and it might be gross to see your previous meal come up.  But wouldn't you rather throw something up than have no energy to push out your baby??
NPO was instated many, MANY years ago.  Back in the day when women were knocked out (aka twilight sleep) during labor and delivery and the general anesthesia they were given could cause the contents of the stomach to enter the lungs and cause difficulty breathing and perhaps death.  This was back in the 30's and 40's.  It's now been acknowledged that this fear isn't really there any more but hospitals and drs still follow the same protocol non-the-less because 'that's how it's always been done.'
What happens if you have no food?  You have no energy and may no be able to complete the task at hand on your own.  What happens if you have no drink?  This could lead to both maternal and fetal dehydration.  Both very, very serious!  How does a hospital fix this issue??  Routine IV.  We'll talk about that next time.  The lack of food or drink might also be a cause for slowing contractions which often times leads to other interventions. 
Luckily, some hospitals have lifted the no food ban and now allow at least water.  That is a great start! 

Are all women alike?

As I have said before, I'm pregnant with #2.  It's been interesting to see how this pregnancy has differed from the first.   In practical terms: I am unable to rest when I want, eat exactly when I want and sometimes have to wait a bit before using the bathroom when I need...all due to a current little one running around.  But I don't think those factors play completely into why this pregnancy is different.  To begin with, I'm carrying this child differently...it feels much lower and I can often feel the movements at the bottom of my stomach more than other places.  This child hasn't been as active as my first.  I imagine because the baby is lower, I have to use the bathroom more frequently but have a more difficult time with BM this time around.  As I think about labor and delivery I hope for the same experience as I had with my first however, I can only imagine that this labor and delivery will be as different as my pregnancy.  I am only one person yet with myself there are differences.  Why then are women put in a box when it comes to pregnancy and delivery.  Every women will have a unique experience in both.  It doesn't seem possible to say that X and Y will happen to every women at a certain time or in a certain way when every women is as different as every pregnancy.  Be careful when choosing your dr for your pregnancy and delivery.  Be certain they do not put women in a box and expect you to fit perfectly in it because that's when unnecesary interventions occur! 

What are my options now...

So you've stalled, now what?  Something many don't talk about is not doing anything.  Just wait.  Labor is not only about dialating.  You and baby have alot to do in preparing for baby's birthday. It may appear that labor is stalled but your body is working in other ways that it needs.  So if given the opportunity, wait a bit before doing anything.  Sometimes that's all you need and then bam, contractions kick in and you dialate quick.  If waiting isn't an option or you have already waited and feel like something needs to be done, here are some options for you.

-Rest!  Take this time to simply relax.  Your body might just be a little tired for all the work and need a little break.
-Change positions.  Maybe baby can't move or isn't comfy in the position you're in and just needs a new position to get out.
-Walk or stand.  Gravity, it's our friend. :)  Walking may also jostle your body and baby.
-Change your environment. 
-Eat/drink.  Your body might need some nourishment/hydration for all the work it's doing. 
-Take a shower or bath.
-Talk.  Express any feelings your have.  Strong emotions, stress or discouragement are enough to slow down or stop labor.
-Avoid vaginal exams.  Sometimes this creates more of an emotional hurdle than help.
-Nipple stimulation, massage, pressure.  This can get oxytocin going which can help start contractions.
-Sex.  Did you know that one of the drugs used to augment or induce labor, Cervidil, is actually pig sperm.  So why not use the real thing (and maybe have some fun) instead. 
-WAIT!  I say this again because it's important to let your body do what it needs to do before rushing for any intervention.  Recognize that this could be an example of a Natural Alignment Plateau, when labor is still progressing but dilation doesn’t necessarily increase. Sometimes a mom can seem to be “stuck” for many hours, only to rapidly progress to pushing after a long wait. Recognize that this could be prodromal labor, or a long “practice labor” pattern. Rest and nourishment are in order in this case. If mom and baby are fine, there is no reason that the baby has to be born right away.

Those are some non medical options.  Hopefully you can try some (or all) of those before jumping to medical options.
-Break your bag of waters (aka rupture your membranes.)  This can kick your contractions into high gear and quickly!  This will also mostly likely put you on a strick clock of delivery because of the doctors fear of infection.  Depending on the doctor and hospital you might only have 12 hours from the point of breaking your water to having the baby before a C-section occurs.
-Pitocin.  This cow hormone is used to produce oxytocin and kicks your contractions into SUPER high gear.   It is difficult to handle the intensity of a pitocin contraction on your own and often times this will lead to the need for an epidural.  Pitocin contractions are not like natural contractions so be prepared.  Be sure to read up on pitocin before going to the hospital so you are familiar with it.
-C-section.  This should be a last resort after everything else has been done.  Unfortunately, at times starting medical options leads to a C-section.  Again, please educate yourself thoroughly about your options.

Remember there are different stages to your labor.  The first stage has 2 parts, part 1:Early labor.  This is the stage when everything is starting, you might be dialited a few cm.  This is also the stage where it's most common to stall.  That's ok.  As I stated earlier, you and baby are doing alot to prepare and contractions are only one indication of that.   This is the time to rest, relax, eat, don't rush to the hospital and just let your body do what it was built to do.  Your body is not a machine and doesn't work on a clock or always in the same manner as someone elses so let it do it's thing.  It really does know what to do.  Part 2: Active labor.  You are really going now!  It's not as common to stall during this stage but it happens.  Again, if you can rest, relax or eat at this stage do that.  Also, talk through any feelings you might have.  This is an intense stage and the fear of what's happening or what's going to happen can get in the way.  Also, remember gravity is your friend if you can move around.   Stages 2 and 3 are when you've dialated and baby is born and then the placenta.

As always, educated yourself.  There are many resources at your fingertips so utilize them.  Read, research, ask questions. 

Did you know...

What causes a stalled labor?  Different things can do it but did you know that some of those things are you and your surroundings?  If you are uncomfortable with where you are, you can stall.  If you have a fear of what to expect, you can stall.  If the lights are too bright, you can stall.  If someone new walks into your room, you can stall.  It's not uncommon for a women to walk into a hospital and have her labor slow down or stall?  Why would this happen time and time again?  Many rooms are not comfortable, they are too bright, nurses you've never met, maybe the doctor on call is some man you've never seen before in your life, perhaps you are forced to lay on a bed on your back, maybe you're scared about labor/delivery/being a parent.   Did you know that way back in the day the doctor was not allowed into the room of a laboring woman until the very last moment because they knew that a man entering the room could stop/stall the labor.  Perhaps that's why husband/father's weren't allowed in the room either but they soon learned that your husband/baby's father is actually an asset while laboring because of your connection, trust and intimacy with each other.  Typically that connection, trust and intimacy is not there with your doctor...not to the extent of what you have with your partner.  The best person/people to have in a room with you to keep you calm is a woman/women, preferably  one that has children of her own.  She can relate to you, comfort you, encourage you.  What man can truly understand what you are going through?  Yet, in labor and delivery today there are men telling us what we can and can not do.  Something as simple as turning out the lights so that the woman can relax, and focus on her labor can keep it from stalling.  Something as simple as letting a woman walk around or be in any position she wants to while she labors instead of telling her she needs to be on her back (which by the way is the best position for the doctors viewing, not for laboring or delivering) can keep labor from stalling.  Educating yourself about what could happen during labor so you are prepared can help remove any fears you may have and keep labor from stalling. 

Your birth experience

I've become very interested in other people's birth experiences.  Was it everything you wanted?  Did things go the way you hoped?  Were any interventions needed?  Did you have a birth plan?  Please share any and all regarding your experience!  (if you don't feel comfortable putting it online for all to see, send me a private message)  Thanks!

My pendulum shift

When I was younger, I was very excited to have kids! I wanted a whole bunch of them (still do :)). Whenever I thought about how those kids would arrive, I would get very VERY scared and nervous thinking how in the world could I do that and oh my that is going to be way to painful. It got to the point where I decided when it was time to have kids I would simply have c-sections every time, no matter what. Of course I didn't think about what that entailed, all I thought about was how that would eliminate the pain of delivery. As my friends began having children and I began hearing about their experiences it forced me to begin thinking about my previous conclusions. It really challenged me and I started to listen to what pregnancy, labor and deliver were really about. Over time, I realized that my ideas had swung to the other end of the pendulum. When I became pregnant with my first child it hit me that I now had to follow through with those ideas. At first, I was scared! The idea of delivering a baby is a scary thought! As women, we truly aren't prepared for this. How many of us have seen a delivery, heard about a delivery in detail or have done much research in the area? That's when it hit me: I had do educate myself, do research on my own and prepare myself. As I began to read the nerves began to cease. The more educated and prepared I felt, the less fear there was within. I'm lucky enough to have a group of women that had delivered with no drugs and had previously done research and were willing to share with me. I know that not all women have that at their disposal and that is a shame. Luckily, there are many books and forums.

As I said in my previous post, I am now preparing for baby #2. Even though I’ve done it all before, it’s still a little scary but I know it’s absolutely possible. I wish more women realized that. I wish there was more education about the reality of labor and delivery. I HATE all those baby tv shows! In fact, my husband bans me from watching them because all they do is exemplify the negatives of labor and delivery as if that’s how it is and will be and it infuriates me!!! Without the education of what’s to come, it is a very scary experience. Without hearing the positive experiences of other women, it can be very scary. Without a good coach on your side and without an experienced person trained in the natural process of labor and delivery, it will be lonely and scary!

Natural Birth

 Birth is a natural process and a woman's body is built to carry and deliver her child.  I am pregnant with my second child and am doing a natural birth with no drugs.  My first child was delivered the same way.  Here is the story:

the whole process went pretty quickly. i woke up that morning and something felt different about that day but i wasn't sure. so  i text my husband, jim to let him know i'd had a bit of show, and i was unusually uncomfortable. i tried to take a nap shortly after that and missed numerous of jims calls and since i'd told him things were different for me that day, he quickly left work to check on me and stay working from home that day to make sure i was ok. around 11:30 i went out and started having contractions but since i wasn't home, i didn't think anything of it. when i got home around 3pm, i told jim i had some contractions and he suggested timing them. they were like 3 mins apart but not very long. so i went on my day but definitely felt them getting stronger and my back was starting to hurt. around 7 they were still 3 mins apart but longer like 45-50 sec. we went to the grocery store and when we came back i called the midwife for advice on what to do cause my back was really hurting. she gave me some suggestions but before the conversation was over i decided i should go in...they were a bit painful.  we arrived at the hospital about 8:30/9 and i quickly got into the tub for some relief. not too long after that the contractions were intense and one on top of the other.  i thought for sure there was no way i was going to make it if it continued to get worse...but that was the peak (ie, transition) and shortly after that it was time to push. i pushed for about 2 hours in total...they had me pushing on my hands & knees cause the baby's heartbeat dropped in any other position but that was a very difficult position for me and i was having a VERY hard time getting in good pushes and was getting very frustrated cause i didn't think i'd be able to push her out if i stayed in this position. luckily the midwife suggested pushing on the toilet. that made all the difference. a few pushes there and baby was coming! i had to quickly waddle back to the bed while crowning to get her out! lol a few pushes later and little aria was brought into this world. it was a bit hard to get her shoulders out cause her arms were crossed...guess she wasn't too happy about having to get out! unfortunately that caused a bit of tearing on my inside...but no tearing or ripping on the outside!!
it was quite an experience and even as i write it, it's hard to believe that i actually went through it!!
it was worth every minute of it and the one thing that helped the most was having an idea of what to expect throughout the whole labor.  if i didn't know what to expect, i would have freaked out and not let my body do the work it needed to do but would have fought it and made the whole experience more difficult than necessary.

I would love to hear your story!  Please share :)