What does a mama in labor need?? She needs a dark or dimly lit space so that she can concentrate fully. For the same reason, she needs it to be quiet. Labor is intense and a woman really needs to focus through her contractions. Part of that focus is working on staying relaxed. So a dark or dimly lit space and quiet not only help her concentrate but also help create a more relaxed atmosphere. The greatest need of a laboring woman is to be in a space that she feels comfortable and safe. A non-threatening space with people she knows and trusts.
When a woman doesn't feel safe her body reacts and that reaction can interfere with her labor which can then stall or stop. When a woman labors among strangers the same reaction can occur. Our bodies will protect baby when it feels threatened or fearful. This is why our bodies react in such a way when a stranger enters the room or if a woman isn't comfortable and is scared about what is happening.
It's very important for a laboring woman to be surrounded by people she feels comfortable with in an atmosphere that she can relax. Woman who do that generally labor faster because they feel supported and safe which allows their body to progress without interruption.
As always, mama needs to be educated on the process. That education adds to the comfort of knowing what's up and feeling safe.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
fear
my little man is 3 weeks old today. 3 weeks seems like forever ago! when people ask about his birth one of the first questions most people ask right away is, 'were you scared?' i was scared but not for the reasons people assume.
my 1st and greatest fear that morning wasn't whether the midwives would arrive and wasn't even about giving birth; it was having to go to the hospital. the thought of having to go somewhere and fight for the birth i wanted was such a stressor and huge fear factor. In fact, when the realization that the midwives were not going to make it and we should head to the hospital finally sank in, i didnt rush out the door but instead stayed right where i was laying on the bed and tried to think of a way to either hold off labor (that wasnt going to happen, lol) or go to the hospital on my terms. if seconds after the realization the baby didn't drop and urge to push hadn't kicked in, i'm not really sure how micah's birth would have gone or where.
i know that at the moment my husband and i realized baby was coming and we were going to have this baby ourselves that he was scared. though scared, he knew what he had to do and jumped right to action. what good was being scared going to do? he knew he needed to stay strong for my sake and sanity. i can imagine things would have gone very differently if this was our first birth and we didn't really know what to expect.
as for me...i had just labored on my own for about 2 hours and just having jim there was a calming feeling. i knew what i had to do, push. so thats what i did. a woman in labor goes through a variety of emotions. fear is one of those emotions. fear that you're not doing it right or that you won't get through it, etc. fear is a strong emotion. as i was pushing, i felt burning down there. now, i knew exactly what that meant...baby was about to crown and then be born. however, i hit a wall. i got scared. in that moment, i pushed and when i stopped i literally felt the baby shoot back up inside me. i even said it out loud, 'baby went back up!' as i said those words, it hit me what was going on. i was letting the fear take over and it was going to hinder babies birth. i pushed the fear aside and focused on the task at hand. i pushed and pushed, the burning grew and soon there was a little boy.
i can't imagine micah's birth any other way. if the midwives had been here, that would have been nice for more support and help afterwards. if i had gone to the hospital, there would have been more external fear and anxiety brought upon me simply by being in that environment, being with a bunch of strangers and fighting for the natural, nonintervention birth we wanted.
fear is a strong emotion. especially during labor. sometimes we don't even recognize that we've let fear enter. fear causes laboring women to make decisions that either go against what they truly wanted or doubt they are capable of what's ahead. one way to combat fear is educating yourself and your spouse. you both need to know what to expect and be on the same page. if you don't know that what is going on is normal or that you ARE capable then fear lets its way in and takes over.
my 1st and greatest fear that morning wasn't whether the midwives would arrive and wasn't even about giving birth; it was having to go to the hospital. the thought of having to go somewhere and fight for the birth i wanted was such a stressor and huge fear factor. In fact, when the realization that the midwives were not going to make it and we should head to the hospital finally sank in, i didnt rush out the door but instead stayed right where i was laying on the bed and tried to think of a way to either hold off labor (that wasnt going to happen, lol) or go to the hospital on my terms. if seconds after the realization the baby didn't drop and urge to push hadn't kicked in, i'm not really sure how micah's birth would have gone or where.
i know that at the moment my husband and i realized baby was coming and we were going to have this baby ourselves that he was scared. though scared, he knew what he had to do and jumped right to action. what good was being scared going to do? he knew he needed to stay strong for my sake and sanity. i can imagine things would have gone very differently if this was our first birth and we didn't really know what to expect.
as for me...i had just labored on my own for about 2 hours and just having jim there was a calming feeling. i knew what i had to do, push. so thats what i did. a woman in labor goes through a variety of emotions. fear is one of those emotions. fear that you're not doing it right or that you won't get through it, etc. fear is a strong emotion. as i was pushing, i felt burning down there. now, i knew exactly what that meant...baby was about to crown and then be born. however, i hit a wall. i got scared. in that moment, i pushed and when i stopped i literally felt the baby shoot back up inside me. i even said it out loud, 'baby went back up!' as i said those words, it hit me what was going on. i was letting the fear take over and it was going to hinder babies birth. i pushed the fear aside and focused on the task at hand. i pushed and pushed, the burning grew and soon there was a little boy.
i can't imagine micah's birth any other way. if the midwives had been here, that would have been nice for more support and help afterwards. if i had gone to the hospital, there would have been more external fear and anxiety brought upon me simply by being in that environment, being with a bunch of strangers and fighting for the natural, nonintervention birth we wanted.
fear is a strong emotion. especially during labor. sometimes we don't even recognize that we've let fear enter. fear causes laboring women to make decisions that either go against what they truly wanted or doubt they are capable of what's ahead. one way to combat fear is educating yourself and your spouse. you both need to know what to expect and be on the same page. if you don't know that what is going on is normal or that you ARE capable then fear lets its way in and takes over.
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